Soon after I stopped blogging last year, I realized that I had a lot of things I wanted to say, just as before, and I had deprived myself of a channel for them. So I did the next best thing: I published notes on Facebook. For the first few days of this new blog’s life, I will simply cross-post those notes here, so if you’re already my friend on Facebook, you won’t be seeing any new material for a while; but I’m going to get through these one per day, so you won’t have long to wait.
This post is mostly for amusement.
I’ve been seeing a lot of posts on my News Feed lately about the dreaded friend zone (FZ)*, so it seems that most men simply take its existence as a given. I have also heard the argument (mostly from women) that FZ is a complete myth, and that rejection is simply due to a lack of attraction, rather than some deleterious effect of friendship.
So, I started thinking to myself: the statement that FZ does not exist is more parsimonious than the statement that FZ exists, because the latter postulates some strange interaction between the feelings of “liking-as-a-friend” and “like-liking” (yes, the English language is horribly inadequate here), so by application of Occam’s razor, one ought to take “there is no FZ” as the null hypothesis, and accept the burden of proof for the alternative hypothesis that “FZ exists”.
Now then, how would one go about proving the existence of FZ? It’s not difficult to think about, at all, once you get past the terminology. The statement “FZ exists” means that it is possible that a man who gets rejected by a woman who is his close friend would not have been rejected if, ceteris paribus**, they were not close friends. In order to prove this statement, a man would have to ask out a woman who is his close friend, get rejected, and then go back in time to before they were close friends, ask her out again, and not get rejected.
Since the time travel step is (probably) impossible, and I cannot think of any other way to prove the alternative hypothesis that does not involve time travel in some form, I conclude that the statement “FZ exists” is not falsifiable, and thus ought to be discarded as unscientific.
* gratuitous and unnecessary abbreviation makes this look more like a scientific paper
** use of this particular Latin expression for “all other things being equal” is also quite unnecessary